Do not do “crab” is not dignified, do a man of knowledge and action (1)
Don’t do “crab”, not “dignified”, do a man of action and knowledge (on) — a stubborn woman’s way to change Article: Love and Happiness Trainees NIE M(Shandong Tai ‘an) Know me, people say that I am capable, dedicated, love children, love learning, will live, some people say that I am stubborn, do not listen to advice.I have consulted our lovely Guangdong president He Fan. I remember he said, “We are similar, but unfortunately, I am a man and you are a woman.”What a shame!Don’t know if there are other women like this?I used to feel proud that I was not only recognized professionally, but also that I was gentle and measured in front of people.I have learned that that is not the real me, that is a “holding”, “pretending” me, at home, in front of the children, is the real me: an anxious, heart full of fear and worry, often a lot of emotions of the mother.Miss Zheng wei: Do you want to know the real you?Want to know your true humanity?You are the real you in front of your children!When you get along with outsiders, you may wear all kinds of masks, but when you get along with children, the innocence and truth of children will make you unable to wear masks and expose the real you!I love learning, especially for the sake of my beloved son, parenting books at a time, ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign thought go to great lengths to do a lot of, the result is son of the state is more and more deviated from my imagination, until in September 2011, I have seen in bookstores Zheng Wei teacher’s book “best” of against parents, children, see “children’s problem is essentially the parents’ problem”,From then on, I had an inkling that something was wrong with my parenting.After learning in August 2012, I came to know that if husband and wife are not in love, their children will live in the desert of love.But I have done very little, and even less consistently!In August 2013, I attended the course of “Smart Parents Training Camp” for the second time in Jinan. If I didn’t understand the first time, this time I felt like waking up to the top of the lake.The following is my nearly 9 months of learning experience and perception.Insist on writing heart appreciation homework, let me have the pearl mentality, let me imperceptibly understand: I am the source of everything, change is always yourself!When I came back from Jinan, I swore to myself that I would never go back to the past. I gave myself the online name “Xingzhi Oneness”.It is intended to encourage their own knowledge that is action, action that is knowledge, knowledge of the unity.I took the initiative to marry Shi Huafeng and vowed to persist no matter how difficult it was!(Teacher Zheng Wei: Many people never do the oath, because the oath is made by emotion, it is true, as everyone knows, the most difficult thing in life is to insist, not Shouting slogans, make up your mind to insist, this article is about how to insist, which is the most worthy of everyone to learn.)Huafeng is the great man in our family. For many times, when I couldn’t figure out a way out and lost confidence, he stayed with me late into the night, encouraging me and asking me: Do I want to go back to the past?Do you want to give up your oath?Admit failure in your home life?So, no matter what, even if I’m having a meltdown during the day, a family war breaks out, or I’m on a business trip hundreds of miles away, I keep doing my homework.(Zheng Wei: As a student, finding active classmates and old students to accompany and encourage you is an important means of “persistence”, but also can make you get twice the result with half the effort on the way to change your own happiness!Don’t study alone!Do not dare not because of face in front of the students exposed dark, bare heart.I used to be miserable every minute of every day, because I was full of garbage, didn’t approve of my husband, all I saw was his flaws, and all I said was blame.At the end of December 2013, after the first follow-up after my second study, I was surprised to find the truth for myself again. I gradually came to know and realize that the process of educating children is actually a process of self-cultivation for parents. Seemingly learning how to educate children is actually an opportunity for parents to grow up again!(Zheng Wei teacher: “slowly know” to “slowly realize” this process is far away, “know” does not mean “know”, knowledge in the brain is called “know”, in fact, do not “know”, only “do” can “know”.So the so-called students, don’t always say: “Teacher Zheng Wei, I know the truth, I just can’t do it” — in fact, you don’t know!Appreciation mode let me reduce complaints and accusations, with a pair of eyes to find beauty, a positive attitude, understand that I am the source of everything!Change is always yourself!In fact, I just insist on writing heart appreciation homework every day, there is time to bubble group, I just under the guidance of family happiness instructor Song Xijun teacher, broke through their own point, put down their years of “carrying”, “pretend” figure, take the initiative to apologize to her husband!(Zheng Wei teacher: for Nie M such a “strong woman” speaking, and the husband apologize that is absolutely a “major breakthrough”, when the first course in Qingdao, Nie M from Shandong Tai ‘an specially arrived in Qingdao to ask me for help, that day I did not show mercy merciless uncover her mask, DO not know nie was what mentality.When she left my room, I silently said to myself: such a “strong” and “strong” woman, the husband is really not easy ah!It was then that I began to take the path of looking inward at myself!The environment is born from the heart. When the heart changes, the world around it changes.My husband and I had a “happy and peaceful” Spring Festival that we had never had in nearly twenty years.For the first time, I did not get angry because of the cleaning work at home. I did not demand that my home should be as clean and beautiful as a star-rated hotel. I allowed my home to be more imperfect than I could reach.And the husband also changed in the past a regardless of the appearance of the initiative to cooperate with me busy busy outside, buy Spring Festival goods to see relatives;I fell in love with my wise father-in-law from the heart. I insisted on buying him good holiday clothes, sending him his favorite delicacies, and accepting the old man’s unsanitary habits and many other habits that I had never been used to.It has taken me more than 40 years to realize that I am as worthy of love, happiness, and capable of happiness as anyone else.The heart will act, know to insist on doing: don’t stare at others, only to change their own;The result is not important, the process is the key.With the joy and quiet family life experience, let me more determined to adhere to the study and confidence.At the end of April, 2014, after the second follow-up, with the help of Teacher Song’s individualized teaching and unique guidance, I finally achieved a small step in the process of change: I did not stare at others, only to change myself.Teacher Zheng Wei: “A little bit of the truth I know.”This sentence I like very much, sent to each of our students, from this sentence you can understand what truth?This intellectual property belongs to love and happiness!